Beauty in the simplicity...

On a warm August day...

***Snapshots from the Journey***

***Snapshots from the Journey***

*******Notes from the Journey******* Devotions Given, Directions Followed

[Jesus said]
“If you love me, you will obey what I command” John 14:15

Oh, with this I struggle!

Obedience. I’m not sure I can even spell it (this has just been confirmed by the corrective hand of my spell check). I can honestly say I have always hated that word. Hated it. I have cringed when I’ve heard people use it while lecturing their children or worse yet, praying for their child to be obedient. The word conjures up this image of a dog. Not just any dog, but a sad, worn down, beaten dog. An animal with no will left. A creature that’s only thought is to please his master so that he will avoid such horrific punishment in the future.

So here I sit, in my “God Time” and what is my prompt for today?

“When have you obeyed God?”

And….hhmmm…well, I have, at times. Mostly I hear him. I listen. I ponder. I think, “Great idea!” or “People would that’s crazy!” Then I pack up my thoughts, or books, and go on with my day. I sometimes listen, especially if He repeats himself a few times, kind of like my kids my kids do with me. Why is it they never do it the first time? Maybe they’re not really sure what I’m asking. Maybe they didn’t really “get it”. Or maybe, they just really don’t want to do it right then, or maybe ever. This infuriates me! I just want them to hear and acknowledge me…

Does God fell the same way towards me? How frustrated does he get every time I turn up the music and pretend I don’t hear His voice? Does he count to three?

In a book I was using for Bible Study I came across this description…

Radical Obedience ~ Obey instantly & joyfully, surrendered to his will, able to go wherever he leads when ever he says. Learned Behavior.

Joyfully? Instantly? Surrendered? Wherever, Whenever? Joyfully??

I was puzzled. I prayed after writing these words. I prayed for God to lead me joyfully down the path he has laid for me. I prayed he would show me how to surrender it all to him, without pulling it back. I tossed around the words Obedience, Surrender, and Sovereignty for many months. These words seemed to keep returning to me. Obviously these were lessons unlearned.

I’ve known I was signed up for today’s devotion for a couple of weeks now. This is something that I enjoy doing. I usually find just the right words after searching Google. I tried this. Nothing fit. I read countless pleasant devotions. Not one gave me that feeling, the one where tears fill my eye and I just know these are the words he has laid out for me. I kept at it. Finally I sat in front of my computer screen and I bowed my head. I prayed that He would lead me to the right words. Of course I should have done this first, but that would have meant I was willing to give up all control over the matter to him. Seems like way too often I forget that if I would just stop trying so hard to do it on my own and ask for his help I’d save myself a lot of time and energy!

So, I prayed. The answer I was given was simple, “the words are not on the screen, because they are yours.” I shook my head. “Oh no”…. I Googled again, still nothing. I picked up one of my many journals. I knew it was the right one. I stumbled about in it for a while and then landed, right there in the land of radical obedience.

I immediately Googled this topic, sure I’d find a prewritten article. Obviously God only led me to this journal to guide me in the subject matter, right?

The one I found was wonderful. It was a story about a lady who decided to sell her dining room set in order to buy another more suitable table for her family. She was reading her church bulletin and the story of a Russian family who had recently moved to the United States with nothing but the clothes on their back caught her eye. She heard His voice tell her that she needed to give them her table. She argued. She needed the money from the sale of her dining room set for a new one. She couldn’t possibly give it away. In the end she called the church. The people were so grateful. She came to find that this family was known in Russia for their kindness and generosity. They gave away everything they had. They prayed that God would provide for them all of their needs even in this distant land. The author of that piece knew she had been used as a tool in God’s great plan. She was overcome with emotion because He allowed her to be part of this story.

It was only fitting that this was the story I found. I too have had those experiences. I had a week full of them right before Christmas. I gave away so many things I never intended to give away. Some I planned to sell to earn money for my own kids’ gifts and others I never even thought of giving until it was laid in front of me and I heard Him tell me to give it to them. Each time I did I felt this peace, this joy radiating from somewhere deep within me. I know many of you have been blessed with that experience, being part of God’s moment, that moment when he whispers your name and pulls you out of His tool box.

There are other moments though, moments where it might not feel quite so warm and fuzzy, maybe more scary or even silly. Some of these are big things that the world sees, other are small, seemingly insignificant. One morning He simply told me to scrub my bathroom floor. I know, I thought it was crazy too. I thought maybe he was going to reveal some great truth to me there on that floor. I had just read some wonderful writer’s story on scrubbing something. I thought, well, I’m working on this obedience thing, I’ll give it a whirl.

The journal entry afterwards went something like this…

Thoughts had while lying on bathroom floor scrubbing;

You did not make me to scrub bathrooms.
Boy, Mike isn’t really scrubbing much, is he?
Man, I better close my mouth or he won’t do it at all!
Why can’t little boys hit the toilet??
I need to make some money so I can hire this out! Wow…that sounds bad!
I can see how people find sorting and organizing therapeutic, but scrubbing, not so much!

I really thought it had all been a bust until I sat down and put my pen to the paper. The first thing I wrote was “It’s never going to be as clean as I want it to be.”

Then it happened, what I couldn’t see just moments before was clearly pouring out onto the page …

“Ok, Lord, I hear you. I can’t make anything sparkle without you. Only you can make something really clean. I didn’t ask you to clean with me. I asked you to reveal something to me in the cleaning. I expected to feel better afterwards. You answered my prayer. You revealed something to me in the cleaning, just not in the way I was expecting. If I’d asked you to sit with me on the floor, to hold the bottle of vinegar with me, the bathroom might really sparkle and I might feel like I’d been to therapy but instead, until the moment I put this pen to the paper I thought maybe I was crazy or that it wasn’t you at all nudging me towards the bathroom floor.”

Sometimes it’s beautiful, giving something away or holding a baby so a new mom can have a minute to run to the restroom. Sometimes it’s not so pretty, scrubbing a floor, or serving in a place that is not in your “comfort zone”, but either way when you listen to that voice and acknowledge Him, that is radical obedience. Wherever, whenever he calls, surrendering your plan to His will, just because He says so. There is nothing degrading or humiliating in that. There is a purpose and a lesson in everything he asks of us, even if it’s not immediately seen. When we learn to choose to come with joy how he must delight that in smile on our face. How pleased he must be with not having to ask again or count to ten.

Muddy Focus...

Listening...

It's been so long, that there were comments I had not read that were posted months and months ago...

In my quiet "God Time" today things stirred in me that led me back here. I was just about to take everything off the site. Pictures, the one and only worded post, and even the header. My plan, a total overhaul. I guess i forgot what was here. I'm still not sure how it all fits His plan, but there was a comment from someone I've neveer made that made me want to leave what is here, at least for the moment.

I have no doubt this blog is here, sitting in waiting for something much bigger. There is still a sense of waiting, but it's feeling more iminant. i have some new songs to add, maybe there are pictures too? There are millions of words. Choose and Listen being the two that are resonating with me today. If you're out there and somehow ended up here forgive my fluttering! Just know I'm seeking and listening.